Functional families encourage and provide:

1. Respect. Respect is the essential glue that holds a family together. Everyone in the family must at least try to be considerate of each other. Kindness is the foundation that will hold the family together for the long term;
2. A secure emotional environment. Everyone in the family must have a voice. They are free to express their ideas, beliefs, desires, dreams, and emotions without fear of being criticized, humiliated, ridiculed, or discarded;
3. There are distinct boundaries within the family. Parents treat their roles with maturity and seriousness. Parents are responsible for leading, training, and educating their children;
4. Children are shielded from conflict between their parents. The parents never make insulting or derogatory comments about one another, particularly in front of the children;
5. There is free communication among all members of the family. Communication is not mediated by a single individual. Children are encouraged and allowed to respectfully speak for themselves;
6. Encourage the growth of family members. Personal differences are valued and even encouraged. This permits children to become independent when the time is right and return to the protection of the family when they need care. The grownups in the family must also be permitted to develop. For example, a mother may opt to go back to school, while a father may decide to switch careers and begin a new venture. These changes need to be thought through in terms of how they will affect each family member, how they can adapt, and maybe even how they can be negotiated. If everyone is treated with respect, though, everyone can win;
7. Parents participate in co-parenting. A functional family is one in which the adults are at the heart, in command, and are all pulling in the same direction. This provides the children with a very safe setting. In a healthy family, divorced or married parents share responsibilities. Children want reassurance that grownups are in charge, even if they don't appreciate it at the time;
8. Eat together. Even if it's challenging in today's world, studies have shown that eating meals as a family, even in front of the TV, improves communication.

It is important to keep in mind that functional families are not just "made that way." Instead, they are created by family members who continue to love, care for, and be kind to each other.

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